Je suis malade…

Let me preface this post by saying that my colleagues and I refer to what follows as an entry on the “wall of woes.” Among my favorite previous wall of woes from colleagues include It was the worst $600 lunch of my life, Why is secondi always so disappointing? and Spago, again? So here’s my latest entry: I’ve been holed up in a b&b in La Clape for the past 24 hours after wretched food poisoning from a Michelin one star. Last night Madame K brought me down a little tray of toast, beurre and proprietary honey along with a cup of chamomile tea. I’ve been sleeping it off in this cozy bed, beneath a blue wooden ceiling with dolphins stenciled on the walls:

It didn’t hurt that when I finally emerged for some fresh air this morning, I opened the French doors to this:

I’ve learned that food poisoning isn’t any more pleasant in France, even at the hands of Michelin chef. But there are worse places to recuperate, and I’ll be sad to leave my petite chambre today:

Discontinued…

Without hesitation, my favorite tweeter is Susan Orlean (@susanorlean), who is as glamorous as she is erudite. Two weeks ago she tweeted “My favorite lipstick and foundation have just been discontinued. Life now, officially, has no meaning.” Which inspired me to ask Ms. Orlean, as well as a couple of other media vixens, about lost loves at the makeup counter.

Susan Orlean, staff writer, The New Yorker

“The tragedy of discontinued makeup! The real tragedy was the foundation—Bobbi Brown Oil-free Satin Finish (I think that’s the whole name) in Sand. Perfect foundation. Arrgh. The lipstick was Trish McEvoy and now I’m spacing out the name (I’m very tired—sorry!). I was scraping the bits out of the bottom of the tube. And finally I had to admit that there was nothing left. I had gone to buy more a few months ago and was told it was discontinued, and I no longer had enough to use for making a custom mix. Life can be very cruel sometimes.”

Missy Suicide, co-founder of SuicideGirls.com and contributor to The Daily Beast

“I had the advantage of learning how to do the perfect cat eye with the perfect product. M.A.C cake eyeliner. It was such a pretty little pot of black. A drop of water added to the little black cake would produce the exact inky consistency to create a kicky little upturn at the corner of the cat eye. I spent hours training my hands to have the muscle memory to do the sweep just right, and in the blink of an eye it was gone. They discontinued the cake eyeliner in favor of the gel eyeliner about 5 years ago and I am still heartbroken. The gel is impossible to alter the consistency of and gets gummy rather quickly, it pales in comparison to the magic cake.  I have tried other brands and other methods but nothing will ever replace my sweet cake.”

Booth Moore, chief fashion critic, Los Angeles Times

More than any other brand, Chanel is responsible for the seasonal “It” nail polish trend. We’ve worn Black Satin, Blue Satin, Jade, and now spring’s pale gray Particulière.

But long before nail polish was as hard to nail down as a limited-edition handbag, there was my dear departed Rose D’Or. It was a red that someone with my coloring could actually wear. A red that was really a raspberry,with gold flecks that worked perfectly with the blue undertones in my skin.

Rose D’Or was a basic in my cosmetics wardrobe, and then it was gone. I Google searched, and rifled through the drawers at the grubbiest Chanel Duty Free counters, only to come up short.

I still have a couple bottles stockpiled, including one that my Foodinista friend turned over to me after a couple of glasses of Chardonnay. But I don’t know if I will ever find another red that’s not really a red, quite like it.

The Foodinista

This is not the first time on this blog I’ve lamented the loss of my favorite lipstick, Chanel’s Star Red (No 22 Rouge Star). The color is akin to the sole of a Louboutin, but with more fire and depth. The texture is dreamy and probably lethal since the company changed the formula for the U.S. market several years ago. But there is a glimmering light at the end of this tunnel. I’m told by the Beverly Hills boutique that the color still exists overseas so I will be on the hunt this week while traveling.

Walk Like a Winemaker

Behind every great bottle of wine lies a pair of Blunnies. Specifically, the Blundstone 500—an iconic Australian work boot that is favored by winemakers and cellar rats the world over. I’ve clocked Blunnies everywhere from the Douro in Portugal and Burgundy’s Côte d’Or to Australia’s Margaret River and my hometown of St. Helena in Napa Valley. My friend Cynthea, from a winemaking family in Tasmania, first introduced me to the boot some 15 years ago. They’re incredibly durable and comfortable. I’ll be packing a favorite pair as I head to France later today for a week in the vineyards with five women at an undisclosed location. And they’re great for traveling…easy to slip off going through security at LAX and will keep your toes warm on an interminable flight now that—thank you, American Airlines—you have pay for blankets.